A First And Final Visit
by MercedesAsheSorrel
Summary: After two years of mourning for his brother, Kili visits Fili's tomb for the first time and has one last conversation with his brother. Canon death!fic. Oneshot, not slash.


**A/N : This story is based off of MistakenMagic's 'Bring Them Home'. So if you want this story to make sense then I suggest you read that and her other work 'Family Tree' first. They are fabulous, and you won't regret it. And also I would like to say that I do have MistakenMagic's permission to write this. But anyway, enjoy! And please review! Reviews make me smile!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own anything related to Tolkiens works, nor the fanfiction that I based this one on.**

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A First And Final Visit

Kili stood before the tomb that had been carved into his brothers likeness, seeing it for the first time. The marble face looked so peaceful in sleep. His wrists were crossed, and in each hand, his twin swords were clasped tightly; the oaken shield rested at feet, his crown resting on his head. Kili clenched his fists to stop them from shaking and read the inscription:

Here  
Lies  
Fili Oakenshield  
King Under The Mountain  
2859 T.A. ~ 98 F.O.

Beneath this, were the words that Kili, himself, had instructed to be place there.

He Died  
As  
He Had Lived  
As a Son  
As a Nephew, As a Brother  
As a Heir, As a Prince  
As a Friend, As a Father

As a King

Kili didn't even bother trying to wipe away the tears that steadily flowed down his cheeks. He could still see it as though it was only yesterday: Aragorn and Arwen kneeling at Fili's bedside bidding him their final farewells. Aragorn had kissed his brow and whispered,

'Be at peace, Fili Oakenshield.'

Whatever it was that Arwen whispered to Fili, Kili never knew. Poor Thorin, nothing had prepared him for his father's death. Silent tears ran down his face as he clung to his father with one hand and his son and wife with the other. And as for Kili, he couldn't even utter a sound. He simply sat on the edge of the bed and held his brothers hand in his own, watching as the light dimmed in Fili's eyes until it had faded altogether. He had sat unmoving, even after his nephew had left. It wasn't until he was alone with his sleeping brother, did he give any response. Tears fell steadly, and he brought Fili's hand to his mouth and kissed it.

'Please, please Fili, wake up...My Fili, my brother, please, do not leave me alone." It was only then that he cried.

He placed a hand over the chest of his brother. Kili shook his head. No, this sleeping depiction, carved in stone was not Fili. His brother was dead. Waves of grief crashed into Kili, drowning him in reality. No longer would he see Fili's shy smile, no longer would he hear Fili's cheerful laugh, no longer...

...Kili fell to his knees, his hand still resting on the marble figure of Fili. He couldn't stop the sobs that passed his lips, echoing themselves against the walls of the crypt. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be together. They had done everything together, why should death have been any different? Why was he the one to left behind when everyone else had moved on? Kili rested his head on the stone. It was cold, cold as the body resting within it. He drew in a deep shakey breath, thinking of all the times with his brother. Slowly and quietly, Kili began to talk,

"It's been two years now. In the time you have been gone, I've never once come to visit you. Sorry about that. I should come, you would have if it had been me. I just didn't want it to be real. I wanted to think that you were just away and would be back soon. I knew that if I came here I wouldn't have a choice. I would have to accept that you weren't coming back. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, I guess. I still don't think I'm ready to say goodbye...I've said too many goodbyes. I'm tired of saying goodbye."

He was unsure of where the words were coming from, or why he was talking to the sleeping stone at all, but Kili didn't stop. Leaning his back against the side of the tomb, Kili turned his head so that he could see the carved stone face of Fili and began again.

"Do you remember when we were children? The time I had pneumonia? Mother wouldn't let you in the room for fear that you too would catch the illness. I had had it for nearly a two weeks when I almost faded. I was too weak and couldn't fight it anymore. I had stopped breathing and Oin said I was gone. Uncle Thorin tried to hold it together while Mother became overwrought with grief. But you refused to believe that I was gone, despite the fact that I no longer drew breath. You just pushed past Oin and shouted at me and hit me repeatedly on the chest. I could hear you and I remember what you said. 'Oh no, Kili don't you dare! I absolutely forbid you from leaving me alone! You think you can die and leave me behind, you selfish bastard?! I don't think so! You are forbidden from dying before I do! Now Wake UP!' And I did. My eyes snapped open and I took a breath, and then another, until I was breathing as normally as I could, given the circumstances. You didn't leave the room once after that and no one tried to make you. You helped me through it, helping me breathe when I needed helping, talking through the nightmares that I so frequently had back then. Then after I was out of the woods and on the mend but still bedridden, you entertained me when I was bored, killing the goblins under the bed with as great a battle cry as fifteen year old could muster, sending Uncle And Mother running down the hall thinking that I had relapsed and you were trying to alert them. You sang me songs of the misty mountains and told me stories of Erebor. You were always there, no matter what scrape I found myself in, no matter how stupidly I acted, even when you wanted to die and I had to fight to keep you from giving up, you were still there for me, even if neither you or I realized it at the time. You've always been there for me Fili, and now that you're not...I don't know what to do..."

Kili's gaze never left Fili's sculpted face, now regretting the words inscribed on Fili's tomb. They seemed too cold and too distant, falling short of describing his brother's life. Kili pulled out the hunting knife that Fili had made him were they were dwarflings. He stood and walked around the tomb and knelt at it's feet. Carefully and slowly, with the steady precise hands that he had used to protect his family for so long, he began to carve a new inscription. Kili stood after a time to review his work. It was a little thin perhaps, but it was neat and well placed. Though no words spoken or carved could ever truely portray his brother it was a better elegy for Fili than what he what he had had written two years ago.

He Was Simply  
Fili  
A Banisher Of Nighttime Terrors  
A Slayer Of Imaginary Orcs  
A Brother In Arms, A Partner In Crime  
A Singer Of Songs, A Teller Of Stories

He Was  
As He Will Always Be

My Brother

Kili resumed his seat leaning against the tomb looking at his brother's stone face, and sighed. It had always been Fili. It had been Fili that kept their mother from falling into insane grief after their father had died, Fili who was the sunshine in their dark world. It was Fili who brought their strange little misfit family together in Ered Luin, Fili who had brought the kingdom of Erebor together. Fili was the foundations that held so many lives together, Kili's being one of many...

"Remember what you told me the night before The Battle Of Five Armies? I was so scared that you or Thorin would die and I wouldn't have been able to save you. I was scared of dying myself, but I tried to hide it. You saw right through me though, you always could. I had been picking nervously at my vanbraces, when you made me sit still. You told me that it would it alright if one of us died, for if we did, we would arrive at the Halls of Waiting and be with our forefathers. Then you described the Halls for me, even though you had never seen them any more than I had. You said that there was an antechamber of white marble, and had blue stone tiles beneath your feet with a cathedral ceiling above your head that was supported by great columns hewn and shaped by Aule himself. Branching off from this room there were three doors. You said that each door was for a different people of Middle-Earth. One for the elves, another for men and hobbits, and finally one for the dwarves. I had interrupted you at this point, demanding to know how one would know which door to take. You shot me a glare and said if I wanted to hear more I would have to shut up. Then you proceeded to say that no matter your race you would instictively know which door to take. And once you had walked through that door all you would see would be an ever growing hall, it's walls lined with doors for each line that had entered. And in between each door there would hang a tapestry, each depicting the history of the world as it unfolds. You had said that at first you would be bewildered, not knowing which door belonged to you. But that you would soon realize that the doors closest to the antechamber belonged to the ones that had arrived first. So you would begin the long walk to the very back of the hall, stopping to look at each tapestry, each piece of woven history. The walk to the end of the hall would take no time at all, or maybe it would take all time, but since time didn't exist you could take all the time you wished. When you finally reached the end you just knew you were where you supposed be. You would push open the door and be greeted by all those that had passed before you."

Kili closed his eyes losing himself in the memory of two scared little boys sitting curled up on the bed, thier shoulders touching. Without opening his eyes, he resumed talking.

"You calmed me down and I had laughed then saying that we were both ridiculous, and that if we didn't want to prove your story to be true, that we had better sleep to be rested for what was soon to happen. And we did fall asleep eventually, but just before we did I whispered that I believed your story, and that as nice as it sounded I had no intention of proving you right this time. And I still believe it, only now it looks a little different. Thorin and Mother are there and so are you. You're standing with your arms thrown wide open, waiting for me...

...A cough of annoyance awoke him from his sleep. He stubbornly kept his eyes shut and his head pressed against the side of Fili's tomb. There was a second cough, louder and more impatient this time. Kili inwardly groaned, it was most likely Thorin, exasperated that he had snuck off again. Kili sighed, wishing he could fall back asleep, he had been lost in a dream where Fili was back with him. Kili sighed again and opened his eyes, preparing himself to deal with a very irate nephew. He started and blinked. Surely his eyes were playing tricks on him. Fili was standing there with arms wide open in a sort of antechamber of white alabaster stone that Kili had never seen before. Kili blinked stupidly at his brother for a few moments, before a slow smile spread across his face.

"Come to fetch me, have you big brother?"

"No, I just got tired of hearing your endless chatter, and I thought this might be the only way to get you quiet!" Fili laughed.

Kili laughed with his brother and said,

"Think again dear brother, think again."

Kili looked around, taking in his surrounds fully.

"So, is this it?"

"Yes, you've made it here at last." Fili answered "Come on, everyone's waiting."

He held out a hand.

Kili ran to his brother's side. They both turned and walked to the door.

"You know Fee, it's not exactly the way you descibed it." Kili grinned, looking around again.

"No, it's not." Fili laughed.

"So what's it like beyond the door?" Kili asked.

Fili flushed and toed the flooring.

"What? What's the matter? Are you not allowed to tell me?" asked Kili confused.

"I-I don't know what's beyond the door...I haven't...I didn't want...I couldn't, not without you. I couldn't pass through that door without you, Kili. I've been waiting here for you the whole time..." Fili mumbled.

"Well I'm here now, Fili. So come on, like you said everyone is waiting."

Together, the two brothers pushed open the door and walked into The Halls of Waiting, hand in hand.

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**Please Let me know what you think! :)  
**


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